Relationship 101 – What Every Leader Needs To Know
WHY ARE RELATIONSHIPS IMPORTANT TO SUCCESS?
Relationships are the glue that holds team members together. It does not matter whether you are a leader or follower, coach or player, teacher or student, parent or child, CEO or non profit worker, you will be involved with people. To know if we have build strong relationship or not, we need to look for five characteristics in our relationships-
1-Respect: – when it comes to relationship, everything begins with respect. We cannot make the other fellow feel important in your presence if we secretly feel that he is a no body. The thing about the respect is that we should show it to others even before they have done anything to warrant it, simply because they are human beings.
2-Shared Experiences: – Respect lays the foundation for a good relationship but it alone is not enough. We cannot be relational if we don’t know anybody. It requires shared experience over time.
3-Trust: – when you respect people and shared enough time with them to develop shared experiences, you are in a position to develop trust. Trust is essential to all good relationships. To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved. Any relationship cannot be sustained without trust.
WHY PEOPLE FAIL TO UNDERSTAND OTHERS?
Fear – When people don’t understand others, they often react by becoming fearful. When we understand the other fellow’s viewpoint- understand what he is trying to do-nine times out of ten he is trying to do right.
Self Centeredness- People are not self centeredness on purpose; it is just nature of humans to thinik of their own interests first. The least important word-I. The Most important word:WE. The two most important word THANK YOU. The three most important words : ALL IS FORGIVEN. The four most important words: WHAT IS YOUR OPINION? The five most important words: YOU DID A GOOD JOB. The six most important words: I WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER.
Failure To Appreciate Differences – The next logical step after leaving behind self centeredness is learning to recognize and respect everyone else’s unique quality. Once you learn to appreciate other people’s differences, you come to realize that there are many responses to leadership and motivation. Different people are motivated in different ways.
PART II – THE BUILDING BLOCKS OF RELATIONSHIP
Everyone loves encouragement. It lifts them up when they are down and motivates them when they are feeling discouraged. To be an encourager, you need to believe the best in people, to have faith in them. In fact FAITH is essential for building and maintaining all positive relationships.
HOW TO BECOME A BELIEVER IN PEOPLE
Emphasize Their Strengths – Many people mistakenly think that to build relationships and be influential, they have to be an ‘Authority’ and point out other’s deficiencies. The best way to show people your faith in them and motivate them is to focus your attention on their strengths. By emphasizing people’s strengths, you are helping them believe that they possess what they need to succeed. Praise them for what they do well, both privately and publicly. anytime you have the opportunity to compliment and praise them in the presence of their family and close friends, do it.
HOW CAN I CONNECT WITH PEOPLE?
Connect In Public And Private – connecting with people is not something that needs to happen only when communicating to groups of people. It needs to happen with individuals. And the stronger the relationship between individuals, the more beneficial it will be. You develop credibility with people when you connect with them and show that you genuinely want to help them. The vision of the leader becomes the aspiration of the people. The impact is incredible. There is an old saying: To lead yourself, use your head; to lead others, use your heart.
THE VALUE OF LISTENING
BENEFITS OF LISTENING:-
Listening Build Relationships – you can win more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years in trying to get people interested in you. Big people monopolize the listening. Small people monopolize the talking. By becoming a good listener, you are able to connect with others on more level and develop stronger and deeper relationships
Listening Build Loyalty – Anytime employees, spouses, colleagues, children or friends no longer believe they are being listened to, they seek out people who will give them what they want. Sometimes the consequences can be disastrous: the end of a friendship, lack of authority at work, lessened parental influence, or the breakdown of a marriage. On the other hand, practising good listening skills draws people to you. Everyone loves a good listener and is attracted to him or her. And if you consistently listen to others, valuing them and what they have to offer, they are likely to develop a strong loyalty to you.
PART III – THE GROWTH OF RELATIONSHIPS
What is my most important relationship?
Express Appreciation For Each Other – To build a strong family, you have to make your home a supportive environment. In every person, there is a deep craving to be appreciated. Feeling appreciated brings out the best in people. And when in the home and is coupled with acceptance, love, and encouragement, the bonds between family members grows.
You got to love to your people more than your position. Having a servant’s Heart – Servant hood is not about position or skill. It is about attitude. The best leaders desire to serve others, not themselves.