Here we will talk about the book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” by Amy Morin. The tagline of this book is “Eradicate Bad Mental Habits and Strengthen Yourself”. In this, you will learn how to master mental power. Such revolutionary techniques benefit everyone, from homemakers to teachers, soldiers, and CEOs of big companies.
Everyone knows that exercising daily and eating good food increases physical strength. But how do we remain disciplined and mentally strong during this challenging time? Increasing your mental power can change your whole perspective.
But, of course, it takes practice and hard work. Still, with the particular methods, techniques, and problem-solving guidance mentioned in this book, it is easy to strengthen your mental muscles and improve your quality of life.
1. Don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself
Tell me, what do you think about the situation, things, and life? Do you think that:
- Your problems are more than others?
- Do you tell most people what happened to you instead of telling them what happened that was good?
- Do you keep complaining about things most of the time that is not good or not perfect?
- Do you find it challenging to find something you are genuinely thankful for throughout your day?
If knowingly or unknowingly you are also doing this, then start thinking against all such things from now on, like:
- There is good in your life, like others or like them.
- Most of the time, think about it and tell people what’s good in your life.
- Instead of complaining, look at their positive side and try to exploit them.
- Say a heartfelt thank you to everyone and anyone who helps you in any way.
By doing this, you will start changing your attitude and attitude. And when your mood starts changing, external circumstances will improve for you.
If we talk about self sorry, this is such a situation when you do without knowing entirely about any incident that happened in life, whether it is your fault or not, and if so, how can you correct it? Then, without thinking about it, you start apologizing to yourself or others for that and ask yourself to forgive.
Often people say sorry so that they can attract the attention of others. Also, they think that they can get kindness from other people. Furthermore, saying sorry to them is a way of indirectly seeking help from others and hoping that others might help them.
But the trouble with feeling sorry or self-pity without a genuine reason for you is this:
It wastes your time: Because at the same time, you could think of a solution related to that incident and solve it in which you would not have to say sorry but be proud of yourself.
Besides, negative emotions like anger and loneliness can start taking birth from inside you. Along with this, you may also have to face many types of mental, relationship, and emotional problems.
So from today, stop saying sorry without any reason and replace your human thoughts and attitude with encouraging beliefs:
- Whenever this happens to you, think about how you can look at this situation from another positive perspective.
- What advice would you give the person closest to you about this problem so that he never gets into such trouble?
- Think about what are the ways to get out of this problem.
- And the best way to end this bad habit is to be thankful. Be thankful for the people, things, etc. related to that event. Because whatever happens in life happens for good. Either you have to learn something new or move forward in life.
2. They don’t give their power.
They hate another person or blame them, knowingly unknowingly giving the keys to his life, happiness, health, etc., in the hands of another person. But mentally strong people do not do this, and not doing so proves to be helpful for them in these ways:
- Their way of thinking and talking begins to change so that instead of doing any work under someone else’s pressure, they start prioritizing their own wishes as every human desires.
- Apart from this, not hating and blaming others also helps build good relations.
- You also get to think and behave about how you will respond to others.
- You start taking full responsibility for where and with whom to spend your energy and time.
- The feeling of forgiving others starts coming into the heart.
- You can change from a victim’s mindset to a warrior’s. For example, I have to do this work because my boss has said or he can say so; by finishing it, I will adopt a warrior mindset like I want to do this work because this is what I want to achieve, etc.
- You will start taking responsibility for exercising your rights. Because when you blame another person indirectly, you are giving them the responsibility for your rights. And believe that another human being must give his rights to us. But the truth is that unless you stand up for your rights, why would others give them to you? That’s why when you stop blaming others, you start taking your stand to take your rights and responsibility for yourself. When you take responsibility, you can also achieve your rights.
- You will realize that whatever you do, you do it on your own accord and not by any other person’s command or pressure. By doing this, you will see that you will start feeling brave feelings, mental strength, happiness, and peace from within.
3. They don’t shy about change.
Whether it is to change yourself to live better in new situations completely, to change your habits, to change things in new ways to create or achieve something new, or to build better relationships with others, be it changing their behaviour, changing their emotions to deal with a situation easily, or changing their thoughts, mentally strong people are always ready to make changes for the best.
- First, awaken the burning desire to make a change in yourself. Decide the reason for changing yourself or changing your circumstances, etc.
- Then create a goal related to the change. Break it down into long, mid, and short-term goals. Decide on a clear timeline, i.e., in how much time you will achieve it. Then, start taking the actions decided in this way.
- Maintain balance in your thoughts and feelings to move forward with that change. For this, think as much as possible about the positive results of that change and feel like living the best life with those results.
- Anticipate the possible obstacles that may come in the way of change and plan to handle them.
- Review the advantages and disadvantages of change and the advantages and disadvantages of the present life. So that you get a clear potential picture of how much better it is for you to make changes. And at the same time, get the inner motivation to make rapid changes.
- Try to take steps with your action plan. Try to make at least one small change at a time.
- And by changing yourself, make a promise to yourself to behave like the person you want to be from today and fulfill this person in any case.
- Ignore the thought of change.
- Thinking that you will do something different when you reach a good point until then.
- Refrain from emotionally preparing yourself to do the work which is beneficial for you logically. Because sometimes, it happens that something logical is helpful for us, but due to emotional pain for some time, many people do not do it.
- Making excuses why you can’t make a change.
- Think about the positive side without the change, focusing only on the negative side.
- Refrain from convincing yourself that you can make changes anytime, but right now, you do not feel that there is a need for change; if it is needed later, you will do it.
- Change is made only when it has to be forced in any case.
4. What is not in their control, then ignore that
Dos to become physically strong.
- As far as possible, delegate your tasks and responsibilities to others to complete so that you can have enough time to do more important work.
- Whenever you feel that your work can be completed more easily with the help of others, then without any shame ask them for help.
- Instead of worrying about the problems you cannot solve, focus on issues under your control and try to fix them.
- Instead of controlling others, try to influence them. Instead of controlling others through your orders or work, you should do that work for them better or set an example for others or do it well in front of others so that the rest of the people get influenced and start working on their own in a better way.
- Maintain a balance between the thoughts in your control and those in your control. It often happens during work that some things are such that you need to think about it, while the rest are such that you can get someone else to do it. Therefore, think about your essential work and delegate the rest of the work to others. If you need to think about it, then take time and, at the same time, think about the solution to any problem and complete the necessary tasks for the rest of the time ).
Don’t do this:
- Trying to do everything yourself because others can’t do it right.
- Trying to do everything alone because you feel like everything you can do without anyone helping you.
- Wasting time thinking about things that are not within your control.
- Forcing others to do things you think they should do without thinking about how they feel.
- Taking full responsibility for success only on yourself without thinking about other factors related to achieving the end goal and things that can affect it.
5. They don’t care to please everyone
To become mentally strong, follow this habit in your life to bring it into your life:
- Identify your values and behave accordingly. If you understand the importance in simple words, identify the rules necessary to be happy and prosperous in the region you believe in, and try to behave accordingly.
- Be emotionally aware before saying yes to someone’s request. If doing that work makes you feel a sense of emotional happiness and satisfaction, then do that work. If it is not happening, then try not to do it.
- When you don’t want to do something, refuse to do it. Don’t try to force.
- Practice tolerating the uncomfortable feelings associated with conflict and confrontation.
Don’t do this:
- Do some work by setting aside who you are and your values.
- How do you feel without just thinking about someone else’s feelings without thinking about your feelings?
- Go on the invite, without considering whether going there is a good choice for you.
- Agreeing with the other person’s point of view even if you know you are fine. Trying to avoid confrontation despite being right in order not to avoid conflict with others. And even requesting them not to do so.
- Chanting is correct to avoid standing with the crowd because the crowd and most people do not support him.
6. They are not afraid to take a calculated risks.
Adopt these methods to become mentally strong by adopting them in your life:
- First, be aware of your emotions and feelings while taking risks, like a brave man or a coward.
- Identify the risk which you find challenging, like starting a new job to earn more money or to solve the problems of others, changing your behavior to make good relationships with others, improving good communication skills to leave more impact on others, etc.
- While making decisions related to risk-taking, identify the thoughts holding you back and limiting you.
- Educate yourself with as many facts as possible about the risk you will take.
- Before making any decision, take time to calculate every risk and know about it.
- Practice the results you get by taking as many small and big risks as possible. So that you can improve yourself and in the coming time, making a good decision with better experience about whatever you do, you can get more profit with less risk from work.
Don’t do this:
- Instead of fighting the high-risk challenges at once, take the risk by dividing them into smaller parts.
- Try not to take risks without calculation.
7. They don’t live in the past.
As we all know, living in the present, instead of living in the past, is a good way to attract more happiness and success. And so do mentally strong people. So let us know what kind of steps should be adopted to adopt this habit in your life:
- First, remember your past and pay as much attention to it as you learn from them and get a chance to improve your present life. As soon as you feel that no memory of the past stops you from moving forward or making full use of your potential, immediately drop it and focus on the memory that will make you realize your strength, recognize your potential and stay motivated. Help us move forward.
- Never stay stuck in one place, and keep moving forward. As you keep moving forward, you will realize that many things are not as problematic as you think now and that many things were to make it better for you today. Because as we all know that whatever happens in life, happens for good.
- To improve your future, do the current actions with more focus so that working with a better lot in mind attracts more positive situations in the present and future. Negative memories related to past, present, and future life starts to get you exhausted.
- As we all know that everything has two sides, positive and negative. We are motivated by thinking good about the positive, while the negative side of that thing is critical to tell us its truth. So, be mentally prepared to see both sides of an event that happened in the past. But looking at the negative aspect, analyze its facts to make it better today, and do not get too emotionally attached to it.
- Recall and write down more of such incidents in your past that inspire you to be happy, to be calm, to recognize your potential and your strength, and to move forward.
- In your life, try to feel better by reminiscing about traumatic events in your past rather than focusing on the negative side of it.
- Try to convince yourself that the past never happened.
- Stop yourself from moving forward by remembering an event that happened in the past.
- Instead of working to improve your present, focus on what you have lost in life.
- Remind yourself of traumatic events that happened to you in the past and how you felt severely at the time.
- Trying to end an event or something you don’t want to do and going past it is practically impossible. Because you can never go into the past and never finish it. It is in your control that you can improve yourself by not making that mistake after today. So do this.
8. They do not make the same mistake again and again.
Adopting this habit in your life, follow these steps to become mentally strong as successful people:
- Accept your responsibility for the mistake you want to rectify.
- Draft a written plan to avoid repeating the mistake next time.
- Identify triggers and warnings related to your old behavior.
- Practice the habit of self-discipline, i.e., completing your actions on time as much as possible. With this, you will start adopting the habit of doing productive and essential tasks, and most likely, you will not repeat your mistakes.
- Try to protect yourself despite knowing you were also involved in your mistake. Because, how will you improve until you accept your error?
- Feeling yourself in a situation where you can’t rectify the mistake.
9. They are not jealous of the success of others.
Successful people are not jealous of the success of others but are happy and live as much as possible. That’s how they help others. Because they know that everyone has an equal chance and God-given ability to succeed, so every person can be successful in their life. That is why they remain mentally strong in their life. So, if you also want to adopt in life, then adopt these methods:
- First, create a definition of success for yourself and what success means to you.
- Replace negative thoughts related to your success and others’ success with positive reviews.
- Feel as good, happy, and proud of the success of others as you want to feel from your success.
- Focus on your abilities and strengths. So that you believe in yourself and can achieve the success you have achieved in others. The feeling of jealousy will automatically end by thinking and acting like this.
- Instead of competing with the people, try to benefit the people of the society by working together.
- Try to get ahead of everyone’s dreams. Because every person has their dream, let them fulfill it and focus on making your dream come true.
- Imagine how others’ lives are better than yours.
- Comparing yourself to the people around you. Because as the great businessman Bill Gates said, “If you compare yourself to someone else, you are insulting yourself. Because everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.”
- Trying to reduce other people’s achievements instead of helping them progress ).
- Treating everyone as if they are your competitor.
10. Don’t give up after failing for the first time
If you adopt this habit, believe it will be easier for you to move forward in life. Follow these methods to adopt the habit in your life:
- First of all, start seeing failure as an opportunity to learn.
- If you failed the first time, find the mistakes and try again while correcting them.
- Instead of running away from your fear of losing or ignoring it, face it. Because unless you face it, how can you find its solution?
- To increase the chances of success, make a better plan and start working on it.
- Replace unnecessary thoughts about failure, ideas that pull you towards loss or make you feel negative, with positive reviews.
- Continually work hard to increase your ability to achieve success quickly and satisfactorily. And don’t show off unnecessarily.
- Let failure stop you from reaching your goal.
- Believing that you will fail in the future as you failed the first time.
- Abandoning in the middle of the road without achieving the goal.
- To consider a task impossible because it could not be done at first.
11. They are not afraid of alone time
In this part, the author explains that it has many benefits if you do not feel uncomfortable being alone. Firstly, unnecessary thoughts will be avoided; secondly, by calmly focusing on your thoughts and feelings, you can fix many internal problems:
- For this, first, make a habit of sitting alone for some time in the day.
- Take some time, to sit alone with your thoughts and talk about which thoughts are beneficial to you in happiness and success and which are not. So that you get clarification on how to focus on essential thoughts and adopt them in life and get a chance to remove unnecessary reviews from life.
- Give yourself at least one full day in a month. On that day, be with yourself, watch your thoughts and feelings, and talk to yourself.
- Sit in a meditative state for at least five minutes every day.
- Learn mindfulness skills. So that by focusing on one task at a time, one can develop the habit of doing it well.
- Do journaling.
- Have a look every day at your goals and your growth towards them.
- Sitting around noise all the time.
- Instead of doing one thing with full attention, switch to one after the other and the second after the third task.
- Take the time to meet and interact with others without taking time out for yourself.
- Believe that meditation is not very beneficial.
- Assume that journaling is a waste of time.
12. They don’t feel that the world owes them anything
Mentally strong people do not believe that the world owes them anything; rather they think that they have to give something to the world to help people. In this way, when they help others more, they also get more.
Whether it is more happiness, being with other people, or more money. To adopt this habit in your life, you should follow these methods:
- First, create a sense of self-respect that you want to help people.
- Identify the areas of your life in which you are perfect and can help others through them.
- Focus on what you have to give to others. To make their life better or to solve any of their problems. Instead of just thinking about what you want from these other people or the world.
- Instead of only thinking about your feelings, respect the feelings of others. Treat others the way you want to be treated yourself.
- Become overconfident about yourself or your abilities.
- Cultivate the misconception that you are better than others in all things.
- Refusing to help others, thinking that you don’t have what you deserve right now when you have it, then start helping other people.
- Thinking about any situation, take care of your feelings only and not others.
13. They don’t expect instant results
Big success does not come immediately, but it requires continuous hard work for a long time, and successful people adopt this habit in their life. Therefore, they are also mentally strong. Follow these steps to adopt it in your life:
- First of all, set realistic expectations for your goals in terms of how much time you will take to achieve them and how many difficulties you will have to face and overcome them for this.
- Apart from this, to measure your growth, adopt such methods to get as much instant information as possible about your work and its results.
- Make sure to make manageable milestones along with your ultimate goal in your journey to move toward success. This will increase your confidence, and you will be able to move towards the next goal with your team and the essentials. To make great changes in things.
- And see the big goal. Start small and start taking action now. always look at the big picture but complete the small step well in time.
- Expect that you will get the results you want immediately.
- Believing that if things don’t go well right away, you won’t be able to progress any further.
- Predicting you have enough willpower to face all kinds of challenges without preparation.
- Finding shortcuts, so that to reach the goal, avoid the necessary actions in the process, and reach the final destination ).
So, we have talked about 13 such habits or ways mentally strong or successful people do not do. And as we all know to achieve a big success in life, one has to go through significant struggles and it is essential to stay mentally strong to go through the big efforts. So, if you want to be successful in life, adopt these methods to become mentally strong.
13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Book Review
“13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to enhance their mental fortitude and embrace a more empowered mindset. The lessons shared in this book apply to various aspects of life, making it a must-read for those seeking personal growth and self-improvement.
I personally recommend you read this book, because It has many principles which will help you to become an updated version of yourself, with a guide of how you can do it.